The Drood Report

If you ruin Donington, we will find you and debag you.

If you can read this, the new iPod Touch WordPress app is working and I am happy.

For a variety of reasons, I’ve not been updating the site. Main reason is health. Got some health stuff going on, but am now on medication which will hopefully fix it. My thyroid is dead. The tests are the worst the doc has ever seen in someone who still has a thyroid, so YAY ME! Never do anything by half measures.

The other reason is I’ve only really had a one track mind in regards to F1. That is coming to loathe and despise the seemingly bottomless pool of arrogance that is Lewis Hamilton. It seems every day that arrogant little twat is finding a new way of making himself appear even more of a tool to those not caught up in the “We love you Lewis” adoration, a club which, if what I see online is any indicator, gets bigger every day.

Now, being a Brit, I would LOVE to like Lewis, I really would. As I’ve said before, I loved him in GP2. He was astounding. But he didn’t get to ever speak there. That’s why.

The latest spewings from his mouth were in regards to Heikki, his teammate. I wish I could remember the exact wording, but I do remember the exact phrase “I’m better than he is”… Now before anyone starts on at me saying “Well he is”, THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT!! Michael Schumacher, not someone I would ever hold up as a bastion of all that is good and pure in the sport, makes a good example. Yes, he was a cheat. A bastard. A cancer on the sport for many of us. And yet do YOU EVER ONCE recall hear him saying “I’m better than he is”? He never did it. For all his many failings, the guy almost never said anything that would come across as even half as arrogant as Lewis Hamilton.

It pains me really. I should be cheering Lewis on, but I can’t. I cannot throw my support behind such an inconceivable jackass as him. At least twice a week I read another quote that makes me shake my head. I honestly can’t understand why McLaren even let him near a microphone anymore. They’d be better off keeping him in a box in the factory, like The Stig from “Top Gear”. Lewis would do well to learn from him.

I mean McLaren are bastards. I’ve always had a love hate relationship in regards to them. They lost me for good last year by vociferously condemning Ferrari for saying “We have no problem winning the title in the court room”, then turning around and taking that exact same course when Lewis was in with a sniff at the title.

I have no real love for Ferrari. However, the fact is, while both Ferrari and McLaren have been bastards, the fact is Ferrari have never pretended to be anything else. I at least admire their being straight forward. Plus, and I can’t believe this myself, old little Felipe is growing on me. Of course he had an atrocious British race, and Germany wasn’t much better with him giving Lewis second place essentially, but after years of mocking him etc… Dammit, the boy is growing on me. I still think he’s a bit of a twat, he’s completely inconsistent, and not a real hardcore racer, but I’m starting to like him. ARGHHH!

Now Lewis IS a hardcore racer. However, he’s the racing equivalent of a nuclear bomb. You can let him go, but you have no idea if he’ll actually achieve what you want, wipe out innocent civilians etc… In short, he’s not a precision weapon. He’s like a rabid dog. He’ll charge into anything, screw the consequences. Sometimes this pays off, like in Britain and Germany. Other times it goes horribly wrong. (Like ending his title hopes in the worlds smallest gravel trap.) Alonso in his championship years was a sniper rifle. Precision, does what he has to, and no more. Two years in, only now does Lewis seem to be learning any real racecraft.

I also have to give credit where it’s due. Both Silverstone and Hockenheim were epic drives from Lewis. Hockenheim especially. (Silverstone was more a case of Ferrari losing the race than Lewis winning it.) To see a driver win a race and he ACTUALLY HAD TO OVERTAKE SOMEONE TO DO SO was amazing. Best race win I’ve seen since Alonso at the Nurburgring last year. Still doesn’t change the fact the man is a douchebag.

In many ways Lewis is reminding me of Muhammad Ali. His arrogance to the media etc… The big difference is Lewis has neither the charisma nor character to pull it off.

We’d all be a lot better off if he’d just shut up and drive instead of trying to convince the world (and possibly himself) that he’s the greatest.

Lewis will be bumped ten spots in France for the pitlane incident in Canada. McLaren are, of course, whining about this “severe” penalty. They seem to be justifying this whining because of the Raikkonen/Sutil incident in Monaco going unpunished. Yes, because the incidents were so very similar…

In Monaco the track was wet. Kimi simply lost control of his car at the fastest point on the circuit at racing speed.

Lewis’ incident is only the same in as much as it took place in an F1 car. Lewis was clearly not paying attention to the signals that are there for safety reasons, in an area where safety is paramount. Raikkonen and Kubica were battling for the lead out of the pits, yet they both managed to observe the red light and stop. Lewis paid no attention at all, and wiped out a title rivals race (rather than Raikkonen who wiped out a far lesser car, no offence to Force India.)

I am quite certain the stewards take into account the situation, the ramifications of the incident etc… Kimi most certainly didn’t cost Sutil the title. It’s fair to say that Lewis cost Kimi at least eight points today. Given last years title was won by a single point, Lewis may very well have prevented Kimi from winning the world championship at seasons end.

Let’s get some perspective here.

Alonso being punished for “blocking” Massa despite never being within 90 meters of him at Monza = Harsh.

Lewis being punished for failing to observe basic safety in the pits and perhaps ultimately costing a rival the title = More than fair.

Rosberg has been handed the same penalty. Somehow I imagine Williams acting with more class and sportsmanship than McLaren. Of course that would not be difficult.

Kubica and BMW get their first ever win in Canada. Now THAT was a surprise!

First though, let’s deal with Lewis. After suffering two hours of that asshat James Allen and his “DEAR GOD THIS IS SENNA REBORN!” crap at Monaco (an experience so horrible I chose to watch this race in Swedish just to get away), it was delightful to see Lewis make such a wonderful bonehead move. Would love to hear how ITV dealt with that one. Am I wrong for thinking “I wonder if he deliberately targeted the bigger of his rivals?” I mean he clearly had a choice of which car to hit. Lewis wrecked two other races besides his own, with Rosberg hitting Lewis in the aftermath. Of course would Rosberg have had an accident anyway? We’ll never know. Looking forward to seeing how McLaren spin this one to not be Lewis’ fault. Usually there’s a mad rush from Dennis and Whitmarsh to see who can fall on their sword first when their precious has a booboo.

Took a great deal of amusement from Raikkonen drawing Lewis’ attention to the red light at the pit exit. I miss the days of Piquet/Salazar at times like this. Then when the camera is filming Lewis taking his helmet off in the pits the cameraman, who is just there doing his job, gets his camera smacked away by him. Petulance and arrogance in the same package. How marvelously efficient those McLaren boys are! As if that wasn’t enough, Hamilton then had the audacity to say the following. “I apologise to Kimi if I cost him the race”. What do you mean, IF? There is no IF. Raikkonen was there obeying the rules, and you piledrove him out of the race. There’s not really any “IF” involved, mate. With all this in mind, I’ve decided to work on a pitch to ITV for a reality show about Lewis.

It’s working title is “Dicks With Racecars”.

So once Lewis had finished ruining races, we went racing again. At this point it appeared to be shaping up for either Kubica, Heidfeld or Alonso winning. Three scenarios I was entirely ecstatic about. Up until this point I had been bored out of my mind and struggling to stay awake. Suddenly the tedious predictable race turned on it’s head, and I staved off sleep with the three potential outcomes, something made all the harder by FOM’s seeming inability to keep us informed as to who is where and, more importantly, how far away they are.

All the time while Kubica is charging away I’m thinking “Please no safety car. Please no safety car.” We had Fisichella bin it, but they somehow didn’t deploy it, which seemed extremely dangerous to be honest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of Nick Heidfeld, but I’m also a fan of justice, and Heidfeld winning just doesn’t sit right when Kubica has been the man this year. Heidfeld had been fueled to the end (that car must have been so damn heavy!) whereas Kubica had to stop. Kubica did the business, got out in the lead, and we had possibly my favourite radio communication of the year so far, from Dr. Mario to Robert.

“You are P1. P1. Bring it home.”

Awesome stuff. I kept my fingers crossed there would be no more safety cars to evaporate the lead. When Kubica crossed the line, I cheered, I punched the air… Utterly glorious. I love seeing a driver I like win their first race. Sadly it happens so rarely. Coming just two weeks after a Monaco race that Kubica was very unlucky to not win, this victory was sweet. First time I’ve ever heard the Polish national anthem. It was also lovely to not cringe and be depressed at hearing the German national anthem. That German cheat had forever tarnished that anthem until now. BMW, a team that I should logically hate due to their acrimonious split with my beloved Williams, have their first win, and I couldn’t be happier. Not only that, with Nick getting second, BMW score 18 points on a weekend where Ferrari score four, and McLaren score zero. For all to happen in my home country makes it all the more enjoyable.

Last year Kubica left Montreal lucky to be alive and largely uninjured. This year he leaves leading the drivers championship by four points. It’s times like this that make me love this sport so much.

Truth be told, great result not withstanding, the race at the front was a bit anemic. The race will not go down as a classic, however historic the victory for BMW. The best move of the race by far was from Felipe Massa of all people! Yes, I’m as shocked as you are! Kovalainen was battling a Honda into the hairpin, went for the pass, got past, then got passed. (ho-ho) Massa dived down and took both of them. Despite liking neither Massa or Ferrari, I cheered for that one. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised come years end for that to be considered the overtaking move of the year. Kudos to Massa for that one. Seeing the reaction of the Ferrari mechanics was awesome as well. Love ‘im or hate ‘im, that was a beautiful pass.

So Canada is in the books, and while the race wasn’t great, the result certainly was for any true fan of the sport. A new driver and a new team are added to the list of winners. Always a good thing.

Finally, I must admit to enjoying the realignment of the universe. Sutil had his race destroyed through no fault of his own by Raikkonen. Two weeks later Raikkonen has his race destroyed through no fault of his own. It’s almost like the F1 universe is balancing the books somehow…

And now we head off to that pile of crap Magny Cours circuit. By far the worst on the calendar.

Ah well, at least it’s Le Mans next weekend.

Good GRIEF what has happened to Jarno this weekend? On Friday he was all over the place, and in qualifying he was spinning every other corner it seemed. WEIRD!

So it’s my home race. Well, my adopted home race I guess. This has been marked by the crappiest TV coverage of the year usually, but since I’m following F1 via other means this year it doesn’t effect me.

Was pleased to read this week that we MIGHT have some explanation as to why Heidfeld has gone from hero to zero. Apparently he’s not getting anywhere near as much heat in his tyres as Kubica is, and therefore has less grip. The telemetry apparently backs this up. So at least his collapse isn’t inexplicable now.

If I had to pick a winner this weekend, I’d go with Massa. Raikkonen has seemingly lost interest in F1 it appears. There’s been talk of him retiring after 2009. I’ve ever heard 2008 if he won a second title. Fairly amazing. It’s weird to see the world champion being so… Well let’s face it, crap. Massa is schooling him. While I will never like Massa as a person, he is shutting his critics up lately, and since I’m one of them… Well I always do like to be proved wrong. I like to see a driver go out there and shut us up. And to be quite honest, I’d rather see Massa win than Hamilton, if only because the endless hype is horrible. Anyone who heard ITV’s commentary at Monaco knows how bad it was. Asking Mike Gascoyne endless questions about Lewis was rude, unprofessional, and just the kind of pathetic narrow minded jingoistic nonsense I’d expect from those insidiously stupid people.

Curious rumour mentioned that could happen RSN (Real Soon Now) is a three way driver switch. Piquet, doing hopelessly at Renault, would move to STR. Vettel would move to Red Bull, leaving dear old DC to move to Renault for what would be expected to be his final races of his career. (Related: It’s believed that Webber/Vettel is the Red Bull lineup for next year, and the deals have been done for over a month.) Then DC would move to TV, just in time for the BBC to get the rights back. A great idea… Except what would this mean to Brundle? He’s the only person at ITV who deserves to be kept around. Though if I was involved I’d hire James Allen too, though merely to publicly humiliate him on live TV at every opportunity. Like pump helium into the commentary box, force him to strip naked and do a grid walk etc… Anything to pay that jackass back for years of asinine bullshit.

Not much else going on it would appear. Storms are forecast for the rest of the weekend, but Monaco aside F1 seems to have dodged the rain quite well so far this year. Fully expect at least one big accident in the race. Clearly no driver can bank on a lead lasting as the safety car almost led more laps than Hamilton last year.

Apologies if this isn’t up to the usual standard. I’ve had 3 hours sleep from getting up early to watch practice. My kids have been acting up all day. Plus I’m in constant pain with my back, so my brain is kinda addled, so if there’s any mistakes… Oh well. Just be glad I’m not running a nuclear power station where I could REALLY do some damage.

To the surprise of nobody, old Snake Oil Max has slithered his way out of his mess and gotten the vote of confidence to continue. From reports it would appear the German body, ADAC, has withdrawn from the FIA immediately, and America and Holland are considering whether to follow them.

Makes you wonder just what Max would have to do have done to get fired. Maybe have children involved? I mean if re-enacting the holocaust with whores isn’t enough to get him fired…

That is a very bad joke.

Well I wanted to update before now, but WordPress was being a brass whore and every time I tried to login, it failed. I only have Scribefire on my laptop, and despite being brand new and costing me just $5 (awesome story which I’ll share another time. And yes, it involves no dubious dealings or anything…) the keyboard is crap and I hate writing on it. I’ve finally admitted defeat and here I am…

Anyway, onto Formula One… There are times this sport breaks my heart. Monaco was one of those times. We’ll start with the minor first.

Robert Kubica should have won. In fact if you ran this race again and had the incidents happen, Kubica would win. 99 times out of 100 Hamilton would not have gotten away with clouting the barrier. Only Lewis Hamilton, who is easily the jammiest bastard in F1 now (a crown once belonging to Jacques Villeneuve) not only got away with hitting the barrier, but ultimately had the damage he suffered work out perfectly in regards to the weather. Lewis should not have won that race. Lewis cannot have won that race.

Yet he did.

The huge heartbreak, of course, was Adrian Sutil. I mocked Force India earlier this year, but they’re starting to grow on me. First through Fisichella’s epic performances. Now Sutil. An incredible drive from Sutil. Not only that, throughout the race ITV were speaking to Mike Gascoyne on the prat perch which was fascinating. (Except when they kept asking him about bloody Hamilton. To be fair they should have gone down to Ron Dennis and started asking him about Sutil…) It was looking SO good for Sutil, then BOOM! It’s ruined… By Bloody Kimi Raikkonen.

Evil Kimi turned up in Monaco and never really seemed up for the fight. Was disappointed with him all weekend. Then he goes and nails Sutil. Ironically he survives, but Sutil is one whose race is over. Just sheer and absolute heartbreak. I also saw the bigger picture as well. This wasn’t just a sure 5 points for Force India… As far as I’m aware the rule still stands that teams who score a point get their travel expenses paid the following season. Teams that don’t score have to pay for their own. Meaning Raikkonen may very well have cost Force India not just 5 points, but their entire travel expenses for next year. Not to mention a bigger share of the TV money come seasons end.

Under normal circumstances it’d be heartbreaking enough, but looking at the long term view of what Kimi’s idiocy cost them… I would expect that the entire team was on suicide watch that night… I realise Kimi didn’t do it deliberately, but it’s going to take me a long time to forgive him for that. F1 for me has always been about the lower teams. Those in it for the sport like Force India. To see their race wrecked by the team that has tarnished F1 so much over the last ten years… It’s just not right, and to be quite honest part of the delay on posting about the race has been because I was so down about the outcome.

For a wet race it was largely incident free. Alonso nerfed the rapidly fading Heidfeld in a move he admitted was boneheaded. Though I partly think Heidfeld should have just let him go. The pits should have said Alonso was on different tyres and not risk an accident. Whatever, hindsight is a beautiful thing.

The carnage many drivers predicted never really occurred, and the race was a largely safe affair. GP2 had much scarier incidents.

Next stop, my home country, Canada. Canada usually delivers a good race. Given this season has had some bloody good racing, Canada had better be exceptional.